haunting secrets

My life is full of secrets nowadays, I hate it.. I don't like keeping things from the people I care about or anyone who I call a friend.. Keeping the most important and biggest secret from alot of people, haunts me, it's in the back of my mind all day..every day...
Its affect on me is big, I need to hide a big part of myself, let people see only the ''liar'' part of me.. I don't like it at all.. But that's what I need to be, a liar, to keep the most important person in my life in it.. I need to watch what I say, how I act and what I do just not let anything slip..

I can't talk to anyone about anything I have in my mind, I'm scared to let my mom know about anything that's happening in my life.
I would want to be open about everything in my life and let everyone know who I really am. I hope everyday that the day would be different, that all those secrets were gone. That I wouldn't have to hide and lie.. But no day is different than an other one, all remains as it is..

(GIF: fanpop.com)